"Don't Let the Bed Bugs Bite"

Hoo boy. If you're like me and have perused the web endlessly for news on bed bugs, you've no doubt read "Don't Let the Bed Bugs Bite" ad nauseam by clueless reporters who no doubt assume they are the first to ever use this adage in an article involving bed bugs. I am quite sick of hearing this saying in news stories about bed bugs, and I have no doubt in my mind that 2008 will be full of news stories that contain "Don't Let the Bed Bugs Bite" in the lead paragraph if not the headline.

I came upon a news story about colonial America that actually tells from where this notorious adage originates. It's from the Norwell Mariner/Patriot Ledger in Marshfield, Massachusetts. The article focuses on MA state Senator Robert Hedlund, who accompanied a class of fifth graders on their field trip to a New England colonial museum. Apparently Marshfield is a microscopically sleepy town or this article was the byproduct of an extraordinarily slow news day. In any case, the origin of the phrase is revealed in the following quote:

It was later learned that colonists often had to cope with bed bugs because mattresses were made of straw; bed supports were tightened with a special device: hence the expression, “sleep tight and don’t let the bed bugs bite.”-Mary Ford, "Oldest Fifth-grader Joins School Field Trip"

The fact offers some perspective when you consider all the technological advancements made since the Pilgrims landed on Plymouth Rock in 1620, and despite all these advancements we still itch for the same reason the Pilgrims did. The bed bugs must've annoyed the hell out of the Native Americans.

Happy New Year, by the way. Next month will be the second birthday of Bugged Out.

Speaking of New Year, do any native New Yorkers actually go to Times Square anymore to watch the ball drop? It was all the rage when I was a kid, and by the time I was old enough to go by myself (since no adult I knew was interested in going), the whole hanging out at Times Square got real lame, especially after 9/11 when security was beefed up and everything from liquid containers (no booze?!?) to backpacks were banned from the area during the New Year's Party.

As far as I know, most New Yorkers attend private New Year's parties where they are free to eat, drink, smoke, snort, inject and swallow whatever the hell they want without being hassled by the fuzz. Times Square at New Year's is for squares, a.k.a. tourists. Let them be herded like cattle into a potential terrorist target area.

So be sure to stock on the alcohol tomorrow, especially if you have bed bugs. And for those who don't have bed bugs, you are cordially invited to my house for a slumber party! Then you can go home and watch your furniture and your sanity disappear.

Cheers.

On the Bright Side of Bedbugs

My mother always told me to look on the bright side of things, especially when those things aren't so great. Well, bed bugs aren't so great, are they? But here's some reasons to be thankful for bed bugs. I know I'm grasping at straws here, but play along.

1. For those ladies living with their man, bed bugs will make him think twice about leaving his socks or underwear on the floor.
2. For those men not living with their significant other, bed bugs like to bite women more, as discussed in a past post, so this should encourage you to invite your girlfriend to sleep over more often.
   
3. If you're really into the minimalist thing, bed bugs should not be that much of a problem for you. In fact, if you really believe less is more, than watch your living space grow and grow exponentially as your over infested bed and other furniture disappear.
   
4. With bed bugs seeming to explode in numbers in cities across the world, I can't imagine that homeless people are feeling as bad about their living situation as they used to.

Not too many good things to say about bed bugs, are there? I believe that if you don't have anything nice to say about bed bugs, then pour yourself, a stiff drink. If you can think of some offbeat positive results of living with bed bugs, please drop me a comment so you can share with the rest of the class.

Merry Christmas!

It's Been A While...

About a month to be exact.

I do apologize for the unexplained delay. I have the unbelievably bad luck of becoming physically ill around finals time. For those of you who have been paying attention, I am in my last semester of college and am completing my undergrad degree.

In the first week of December I developed a severe pain in my right lower wisdom tooth and it had to be extracted. The pain was so unbearable I lost sleep, and my personal self-prescription consisting on Tylenol and herbal anesthesia was simply not strong enough to dull the pain. At the same time I had acquired the flu (despite the fact that I had received a flu shot October 25) and was basically sick in bed with a sore throat hocking up my body weight in phlegm and sleeping for about 12-14 hours a day. This was of course on days when I didn’t have to show up for my new job or class.

A week later my left lower wisdom tooth began giving me a similar pain and I had to wait four days for my dentist to be able to take it out. I'm over the flu but still have a sore throat
and just finished my finals. I promise I will post something soon.