Blood Suckers Are All The Rage

Due to technical difficulties (temporary inability to pay my Verizon bill) I haven't been able to blog the last few weeks.

In these last few weeks I've kind of gotten hooked on this new HBO series, True Blood. It's really a great TV series which M and I watch religiously. The show is set an alternate reality in which vampires do exist and have "come out of the coffin" upon the invention of synthetic blood (the product is called True Blood) originally designed the demands for human blood transfusions but had the unintended side effect of providing vampires with artificial food, so feeding on humans is no longer necessary. The show itself focuses on a fictional Louisiana town called Bon Temps (the name means "good times" in French; I wonder if that's some sort of literary device) in which a telepathic human waitress falls in love with a vampire and whose boss is secretly a shape-shifter who can change his form to resemble any animal. Anyone who hasn't seen it should definitely check it out on HBO or on YouTube.

Now there's a new movie, Twilight, in which a human falls in love with a vampire.

Despite my fascination with True Blood, I don't know why this vampire stuff is all the rage. Scores of people have been living with nocturnal blood sucking creatures for the last few years. Where's our HBO TV series? Where's our movie?

Shit, I think I'd rather have the vampires than the bedbugs.

The Debates, Bed Bug Disputes Filling Our Courts and Bed Bugs on Broadway

Did anyone see last night's Presidential debate? I wonder where the candidates stand on the bed bug infestation in the U.S.?

I came across this story in the New York Sun about how bed bug disputes between landlords and tenants are piling up in the city's courts. One example offered was of a tenant paying $7K a month for an apartment on the Upper East Side who signed a lease without knowing that several floors in the building were undergoing a massive extermination of bed bugs. Now the tenant wants out of the lease, arguing he wouldn't have signed it if he knew about the bed bug infestation.

What I'm wondering is, why the hell hasn't this impacted real estate values yet? I mean, everywhere else in the U.S. the mass foreclosure of homes is driving real estate values down, but in New York, people are still being charged $7,000 a month to live in a bed bug-infestation building! Many New Yorkers I know are leaving the city to live in states and buying foreclosed homes to live in because they can no longer afford to pay so much money in NYC for so little space, and no free parking to boot.

All I know is that the sky-high rents in New York City will not stay that way forever, and be bugs will definitely play a large role in the devaluing of property.

In other news, I guess I was on to something when I started writing my bed bug haikus.

I just found about this new musical called Bedbugs! Here's the ridiculous synopsis from their website.

"80s rock excess meets the Creature Feature. It’s 2012 and Carly, an exterminator hell-bent on avenging her mother’s freak death, has accidentally mutated NYC Bedbugs into bloodthirsty killer Hair Metal Rock Gods. Sweet sidekick Burt has a plan, and troubled Canadian chanteuse Dionne Salon has stumbled onto the scene. But will Carly listen to them and save NYC—or be seduced by her own creation?"

It doesn't exactly sound like something I'd pay to see, but apparently it has sold out in the past, so someone must like it. I seriously doubt that anyone in 2012 is listening hair metal rock. I'm glad it died in the 80s.

I wish someone would write a musical about living with bed bugs in New York City. No shortage of drama and conflict in that story!

More Bed Bug Haikus!

I didn't know what to blog about this week and I had a bit of a creative streak, so I churned out some more bed bug haikus.

***

R wants a task force

But her pleas fall on deaf ears

Bloomberg’s bed bug-free

***

R wants a task force

Can we trust the government?

Ask the Indians

***

A menage a trois!

M, a bug and me

Not very sexy

***

Caitlin’s M.I.A.

Her bed bugs, long time no see

They are just hiding

***

Bed bugs in college?

Students with bites and huge debts?

Stay home; get a job

***

Renee still insists

On City bed bug task force

But pols do nothing

***

Hey, nobugsonme!

Hablo espanol tambien!

Bed bugs just speak bite.

***

For bed bug orgies

Poor Brooklyn is Ground Zero

Thank God I’m in Queens

***

Exterminators

$300 a room

Go out and turn tricks

***

Exterminators

$300 a room

Time to sell cocaine

***

$300

For bed bug control

Where is price control?

***

Let’s get together

Start our own bed bug task force

Cuz’ Council does zilch

***

Bugs on your mattress

Bites all over your body

Which wrist to slash first?

***

Just pick up your phone

Tell 311 bed bug woes

Who promptly do zilch

Feel free to share your own bed bug haikus. Remember, the first line is 5 syllables, the second line is 7 syllables and the third line is 5 syllables! Have fun!

Menage a Trois (not the cool kind)

I knew I'd come in contact with a live bed bug in my home sooner or later, but not like this.

Before yesterday, I hadn't seen a live bed bug in my home for about a month, which is why I didn't have much to blog about. But yesterday M and I were engaged in foreplay on the bed [we had misplaced our clothes ;) ] and we were kissing when she stopped and told me I had a small brown bed bug on my cheek. Using her fingernails as tweezers she expertly plucked it off my face, and apparently the bug's beak was still penetrating my flesh because it stung a bit as she jerked it off (the bed bug, not me).

Unfortunately, M and I are not swingers, so we instead invited our little go-in-between to a friendly game of Bed Bug Barbecue. Needless to say, the romantic mood was shot and we got dressed faster than a john in a haunted whorehouse.

My only dilemma, besides having seen a live bed bug in my home, is that I have no idea whether the bed bug was male or female. I don't know whether I should just be grossed out or if I should join the Royal Navy.

A Bed Bug Task Force

Apparently another bed bug blogger was so moved by my last post that she decided to offer a one-word rebuttal.

Renee has had this campaign for a bed bug task force to be established in this city for a while. Unfortunately, she's waiting for the government to get around to it. For those of you familiar with Bugged Out, I've been chronicling an endless journey to nowhere as the City Council pretends to help New Yorkers. In January 2006 Councilwoman Gale Brewer introduced into the Council legislation that would ban the sale of reconditioned mattresses, ban new mattresses from being transported next to new ones and establish a Bed Bug Task Force. Long story short, the bill died in committee and is dead until further notice.

I feel that no matter how many times Councilwoman Brewer re-introduces her bed bug bill, it will meet the same fate. I responded to the post titled "Bugged Out Thinks We're Wasting Our Time" and suggested that Renee is not wasting her time by calling for a bed bug task force in New York City, she's just wasting her time if she's going to wait for the government to establish one. The City Council had two and a half years to get this going; it seems a bed bug task force would have to come from the private sector, in the form of a nonprofit organization.

I'd really like to discuss launching a nonprofit bed bug task force, but I have no idea what it takes to start a nonprofit organization, or specifically what social services could such an organization offer to those suffering from a bed bug infestation.

Any suggestions?

New Poll

Writing about government intervention in regards to bed bug infestations inspired me to launch a brand new poll on my side bar asking visitors if they've ever turned to the government for help with their bed bug problems, and if so, who in government did they turn to? Please participate in the polls. They're slightly more fun than putting on your socks and every week a randomly selected poll respondent will receive a permanent black marker with which to mark their recently discarded furniture as infested.

I personally have not contacted the government mostly because I have no faith in the government's ability to do anything well.

But for those who have slightly less pessimistic than I am in the belief that government is a necessary evil and have actually contacted government officials for help in this matter, what has the response been? If you wish to share you story on this blog entry, please indicate which government agency helped you in this matter and if you're not in the U.S., tell us which country you live in.

Thanks.

Bad news for Bushwick...

Leave it to the Brooklyn Eagle to give readers in-depth coverage of the bed bug situation in Brooklyn. Unlike the Daily Snooze and other New York dailies, the Eagle doesn't have their covers plastered with the Yankees or Paris Hilton.

That's the only good news here. The bad news is that according to 311, Bushwick is the "bed bug capital of Brooklyn", logging 550 complaints of bed bug infestations from that neighborhood only in the first six months of 2008. Stay away from those benches in Bushwick Park!

The runners-up for the title are Flatbush, Midwood and Prospect Park South. Other honorable mentions include Brooklyn Heights, Downtown Brooklyn, and Boerum Hill with Mill Basin and Flatlands coming in dead last in number of bed bug infestation complaints.

The article also contains a few personal testimonies and a few basic tips I'm sure we're all familiar with by now. Pretty well-written and reported.

The article made me wonder how my own neighborhood ranked in regard to bed bug complaints so I Googled bed bug 311 complaints. As a result, I came across this interesting bed bug blog which featured 311 bed bug complaints for every neighborhood in New York. Actually, the areas are not categorized by our city's vague neighborhood boundaries but rather by Community Districts, which may encompass more than one neighborhood (you have to scroll down a bit to find the chart).

According to the chart, which only tracks up to June 19, 2008, Bushwick, with 550 complaints logged, is not only the bed bug capital of Brooklyn but of all five boroughs as well. The runners-up citywide are Washington Heights/Inwood (477 complaints), Flatbush/Ocean Parkway/Midwood (364), West Harlem/Morningside Heights/Manhattanville/Hamilton Heights (332), and Central Harlem (330). Given these statistics it's hard not to determine that the bed bug infestation in New York is concentrated in Brooklyn and upper Manhattan.

But I have to question the accuracy of 311 complaints as an indicator of which neighborhoods are have the highest rates of infestation because I don't think that most New Yorkers think to call 311 about a bed bug infestation. I certainly didn't call 311 about my problems, but that's only because I don't expect the government to do anything about it. But I've had a lot of people suggest I write my Congressman or my Councilman or my Senator. As if that will do anything.

Despite all of its most expensive efforts, the government can't keep people from getting high, it can't stop racism or sexism in the workplace, it can't prevent gun violence, it can't combat poverty, can't bring democracy to Iraq, can't keep illegal aliens out of this country, it can't keep jobs from going overseas, it can't teach children basic skills, it can't provide health insurance for everyone who needs it, it can't respond to emergencies in a timely fashion, it can't rebuild Ground Zero even after seven years, it can't provide adequate health care for its soldiers, it can't help people who are losing their homes, it can't balance the national deficit, it can't prevent terrorist attacks, it can't adequately equip its troops, it can't find Osama bin Laden, it can't rehabilitate criminals, it can't keep politicians from accepting lobbyist "gifts", it can't control who or what passes through its borders, it can't keep teenagers from having sex, it can't guarantee its citizens guaranteed Constitutional civil rights, it can't keep prostitutes off the streets, it can't put out a bunch of forest fires at once, it can't protect the public from trans fats or second-hand smoke, it can't lower gas prices, it can't figure out whether or not a foreign country has weapons of mass destruction, it can't adequately protect its own nuclear energy facilities from terrorist attack, it can't facilitate a remotely democratic electoral system, and it can't protect the environment.

Given all the ongoing and historic failures of government, why the hell would I ever think my government could do a thing about a bed bug infestation?

If anything, government may actually be the problem. Two words: DDT ban.

Does the Media Hate Bed Bugs, Or Just The People Who Have Bed Bugs?

Sorry I haven't blogged in a while. I was recently in the hospital for six days due to a serious diabetes-related ulcer in my left foot. As a result, I lost my job at AM New York and am currently taking nausea-inducing antibiotics and am hooked up to a small machine that sucks out the infected tissue from the wound.

The good news?

1. My doctor reports that my infection is 75% healed.
2. I did not see one bed bug at the hospital where I stayed which was a great relief to me because while I only see dead bed bugs in my home and a live one rarely, I was still very afraid of carrying a bug to the hospital. I've experience a rise in bed bug paranoia ever since I found out an unused extension cord had become a nest for bed bugs.
   

I did find an interesting article regarding bed bug infestations in precinct jail cells and police cruisers, this time in New Rochelle, a small town in Upstate New York. It amazes me how ignorant most people are in regards to bed bugs. I've met many people (mostly Americans) who think that bed bugs do not exist outside of New York City. I don't quite understand the logic behind this theory (perhaps they are associating bed bugs with a particular ethnic group in New York City) but I am always pleased when I read about bed bugs infesting areas that are far away from New York City.

"Capt. Kevin Kealy said the issue first cropped up about three weeks ago, when some prisoners in the cell block complained of insect bites. There are no mattresses or cushioned surfaces, just a solid sleeping bench in the holding cells, he said, but bed bugs were discovered on the floor. The cell block was quarantined for three days of chemical applications to exterminate the bugs, Kealy said. "That seemed to have worked," Kealy said. But then bugs turned up in three radio cars from different tours, including a car used for a daytime tour of duty yesterday. The car was taken out of commission for 24 hours so it could be fumigated, he said."

Now some people might read that article and come to the conclusion that criminals spread bed bugs, or confirm some misconception that only poor people spread bed bugs, since most blue-collar criminals are poor. I think some people just like to equate bed bugs with a particular group to offer some logic or explanation toward the spread of bed bugs, or in some cases, their own bed bug infestation. For example, someone might believe that only people from the Middle East bring bed bugs to America and may think to themselves, "what Middle Eastern person have I been in contact with the past few days?" and use this mis belief to express their own real prejudice against people of Middle Eastern descent.

I don't know, I'm just babbling. Sometimes I feel like the media depicts people suffering from bed bugs in an unfavorable light, as if they're telling their audience, "This could never happen to you; these people are very different from you and I." In this particular article, only the inmates (and one cop) are reported as having suffered bug bites, and the inmates are directly blamed for having introduced the bugs to the cruisers and jail cells, even though the officers' locker room, which is obviously one part of the precinct a suspect would never be allowed to enter, is also fumigated.

The original bed bugs must have come in on a prisoner, he said. While the county jail said they did not have "a massive infestation," it only takes one person to carry in the bugs and create a problem, Kealy said.

"The concern is even if you exterminate every inch of the place, another prisoner could bring them in and they re-infest," Kealy said.

Myabe this is just isolated to American media or New York media. I know Bugged Out is visited by a lot of people from across the U.S.A. and around the world, so can anyone tell me about the quality of media coverage of bed bugs in their hometown or country?

Thanks.

Bed Bug Alert/New Job

I haven't had too much time to blog because I went from having no job to having two jobs. When it rains it pours, right?

The first job I'll blog about later, but my morning job is for AM New York, a free daily newspaper here in New York City. My job is basically to stand near a subway station and hand out copies to passersby (mostly commuters) from 6:30 am to about 9:30.

AM New York doesn't pay much, but when I haven't been able to find work anywhere else, I've relied on AM New York to at least provide me with a steady paycheck until I can find something better. This is like my third time working for the company in three years. I don't make a lot of money, but at least my supervisors and the public treat me with more respect than when I worked as maintenance at a supermarket or as a cashier at a wholesale club. Plus I'm located within walking distance from my other job.

If you want to stop over and say hi, I'm at the 116th Street station near Columbia University in Morningside from 6:30 to 9:30. I can talk and hand out newspapers at the same time, so you can tell me about your own bed bug experience and take a newspaper, too.

About the bed bug alert, maybe it's just me but the 116th Street station smells like bed bugs. Maybe you can come down and tell me for yourself if the station smells like bed bugs, if you're familiar with their pungent odor.

Later.

How To Tell A Friend About Your Bed Bug Problem

I've received a few comments from people who don't know what to tell their friends in regards to their infestation, or from people who've had bad experience revealing their bed bug problems to friends and family.

Like this comment from one understandably freaked-out Australian:

I am very conscious that everyone I have told ("friends") think that I've done something to bring this upon myself, and also that it's not a big deal. Of course, offer to show them the bugs, and they FREAK OUT and flatly refuse. It's real hypocrisy in action.

There is no easy answer to this. The answer really depends on who it is you're telling. The one thing you can be sure of is that you can definitely tell who your real friends are by telling them about your bed bug infestation. My advice is to tell as few people as possible. God forbid they become infested, either by you or somewhere else, they will blame you or worse, sue you. Better to keep such information to yourself, especially when you have no real way of knowing if your friends got bed bugs from you or from another source.

Last week I regained contact with an old friend who I had not seen in years. Our phone conversation became very uncomfortable when he asked me what had been going on in my life in the last few years. Careful to choose what events to tell him, I told him about meeting M, launching my other blog, I'm Not The Only One, my recent graduation from college, and my hopeless search for steady employment that is now stretching into six months. M invited him over for dinner, and I was nervous because I did not tell him about Bugged Out or about my past bed bug infestation.

My friend C came in and my eyebrows shot upwards as he casually dumped his knapsack on my floor. I immediately picked it up and placed it on a chair, saying I didn't want it to get dusty. He stayed for about six hours, and the three of us enjoyed the dinner. Since he and M are both into cooking and are Food Network addicts, they had lots to talk about. M made antipasto salad, steak in a honey barbecue marinade, yellow rice and corn on the cob. We had hazelnut coffee and Stella D'oro cookies for dessert.

We had a good time, but bed bugs were always in the back of my mind, wondering if C would find one in my home, or worse, take home a souvenir. As much as I enjoyed his company, I was glad to see him go. I'm not sure how he would react if he found out instead of me telling him. Would he feel I was hiding it from him? Would C suspect I was trying to intentionally pass bed bugs on to him?

The problem with telling people I have bed bugs (and I've told very, very few people), the revelation must be accompanied by the drawn-out back story of how I got them, how I lost all my furniture as a result, how I struggled to get rid of them and how I have them under control without actual proof of complete eradication. I know C is a pretty cool guy, and we've known each other for about 8 or 9 years, so he would understand, but might be apprehensive to return. M invited him over for my birthday next month. Maybe I'll tell him before then, at least before he finds out about Bugged Out.