Menage a Trois (not the cool kind)

I knew I'd come in contact with a live bed bug in my home sooner or later, but not like this.

Before yesterday, I hadn't seen a live bed bug in my home for about a month, which is why I didn't have much to blog about. But yesterday M and I were engaged in foreplay on the bed [we had misplaced our clothes ;) ] and we were kissing when she stopped and told me I had a small brown bed bug on my cheek. Using her fingernails as tweezers she expertly plucked it off my face, and apparently the bug's beak was still penetrating my flesh because it stung a bit as she jerked it off (the bed bug, not me).

Unfortunately, M and I are not swingers, so we instead invited our little go-in-between to a friendly game of Bed Bug Barbecue. Needless to say, the romantic mood was shot and we got dressed faster than a john in a haunted whorehouse.

My only dilemma, besides having seen a live bed bug in my home, is that I have no idea whether the bed bug was male or female. I don't know whether I should just be grossed out or if I should join the Royal Navy.