New Girl

I met this girl in school about a year ago. She is drop-dead gorgeous. I mean, we’d walk down the street together and I could see all the men’s (and women’s) eyes on her. At some point, after a few dates, we just kind of drifted apart. Fast forward to yesterday. We’d been hanging out a lot together this past week, and yesterday she says she has a few hours to kill before class and then asks if she can hang out at my place.

That one came right out of left field. Without missing a beat I said, “Sure,” but in my mind I’m thinking, I better cover up my sheets so she doesn’t see the bed bug spots all over them.

Bed bugs can really put a hold on your love life. What female is going to want to slip into a bed that is either crawling with bugs or has small specks of blood and/or bed bug feces on it? New Girl was going to be the first woman I would bring to my place since my girlfriend dumped me in mid-December. I fooled my ex by changing the sheets before she came, and of course, I would always spend the night at her place.

The minute I brought New Girl home, I told her to wait in the living room while I “fixed my room up a bit.” I quickly dashed to my bedroom and covered the sheets and pillows with a heavy blanket. Problem solved. She hung out until 7 p.m. and we watched my DVD of “The 40-year Old Virgin.”

As I walked New Girl back to the train station, I started thinking about what would happen if she wanted to spend the night. She lives with her parents, so me staying over at her place is out. I know she’s going to find out about the bed bugs if she stays at my place overnight. I really don’t know what to do at this point except not let her sleep over until I get rid of the bed bugs. That might work out for the best after all, as she may interpret my reluctance to spend the night as “taking it slow.”