Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Bed Bug Amor

You've probably noticed I haven't posted too frequently this month, and I have a fairly good excuse.

I met someone. Someone really special, and we met last week. As corny as this may sound, we met through MySpace (yes, my co-workers intially sucked me into it) and we met for the first time last week after several phone conversations.

It's really hard to date in New York City, and it's even harder when you have bed bugs. Even in my case where the bed bugs have been largely eradicated, there's always the possibility of a resurgence. I also have a bad habit of telling women when I first go out with them unflattering truths about me that most people would save for later. For example, in the recent past, I had told both my ex-girlfriend (who I was trying to get into bed with) and this other girl I liked that I had bed bugs. They stopped answering my e-mails and phone calls since then, and I kind of get the impression they really don't want anything more to do with me. I wondered if their sudden decision to end all contact with me was because I told them about the bed bugs. I prefer to be honest with the women I date, but sometimes I wish they'd be a little more understanding about the whole bed bug thing. Most people think only people who live in filthy apartments have bed bugs, and maybe that's what my ex and this other girl thought about me. Of course, neither of them really identified that as the reason they're no longer communicating with me, that's just my own paranoia at work.

For those living with bed bugs, if you're already single you just might stay that way once your dates find out your dirty little secret. But I digress. This new girl, M, lives in the Bronx and on our first date I was determined not to ruin my chances of love (or lust) by revealing my bed bug problem. I was cooking up in my head excuses to explain, once I bring her back to my place, why I have no bed or mattress. I figured I'd tell her I sold them to pay the rent or some other lie.

So M and I are on our first date at a pizzeria near Pelham Parkway, and she tells me SHE sleeps on the floor because she has had bed bugs and had to throw out her bed and mattress. This wave of relief just washed over me, because I knew I could be totally honest with her about my bed bug problems. How I constantly mop and spray and sprinkle boric acid just to make sure I never see another bed bug. As wierd as this may sound, the minute she told me she had had bed bugs as well, I felt like we were meant to be together.

Obviously that's not the only reason I like M. But the sheer coincidence that I had finally met someone who could not only relate to my problem but was a fellow victim herself was like a gift from above. We've been seeing each other and talking on the phone for almost three weeks now, and we are crazy about each other. The chemistry is so right between us, and I'm glad I didn't meet yet another female who has a stigma attached to bed bugs.

M never really went into detail about her bed bug problem except for mentioning that she had thrown out her bed and mattress. I really care about this girl, and I'm really impressed that she was bold enough to tell me about that on the first date. Apparently she has the same habit of telling unflattering truths about herself that I do.

I am grinning from ear to ear as I write this. My heart is swelling and my stomach is getting queasy just at the thought of her, and all the bed bug bites in the world couldn't bring me down right now.


Caryn said...

Hey there. Couldn't find an email for you but wanted to drop you a note. I also live in Queens and I had bedbugs a few years ago. I was referred to this blog by Caitlin, who is a neighbor of mine. Anyway, just wanted to say hi! [My bedbug story]

Bugged Out said...

Hi Caryn,

Thanks for saying hi. I'm glad to hear you've gotten rid of your bedbug problem. The worst is truly over for me.

Speaking of the worst, those photos of bedbug bites on your blog are scary. They bring back bad memories of my own experiences with these hellish little creatures. They make cockroaches seem benevolent in comparison.


Anonymous said...

I am touched by your story. Even though lots of NYers have bedbugs, what are the odds that you find a woman with the same unfairly stigmatized issue? Wonderful luck, I say. Congratulations and good luck with that. I hope you are both BB-free soon.

Bugged Out said...

Dear anonymous,

I'm so glad you liked my story. M is a wonderful woman, and I'm glad I met her.

To be honest, after meeting a few women who had a stigma attached to bed bugs, I was actually considering lying to future dates and trying to hide this unpleasant reality as long as I could.

But you can't start a relationship on a lie. And I'm so happy that I didn't need to lie to M. She is sweet, sexy, passionate and is as crazy about me as I am about her.

Luck is an understatement. I hit the jackpot when I met M.

I haven't seen too many bed bugs at her place, either. Hopefully neither of us will ever see a bed bug again.