A friend of mine who does not have bed bugs recently asked me if she could collect a few live bugs and put them in a baggie. When I asked why, she explained that she and her new ex-boyfriend were going to meet one last time at his place to exchange possessions they had left at each other's homes, and she wanted to plant a few bugs underneath his pillow to ruin any chances of having sex with any women he brings back home.
"Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned." - William Congreve
I said, "Look honey. Karma's a bitch. You pull some underhanded shit like that and I guarantee God will make sure one of those buggies escape and end up under your pillow." I also said that when people break up, there's always the chance they may get back together for one night just to have sex. What if his infestation becomes full blown? She's not going to have sex at his place, and then she'll have to explain why. And if he goes to her place or to a motel, there's a chance a bed bug might be clinging on to his clothing and jump on to hers. You know how a spontaneous or even a planned sexual encounter can be. No one ever neatly folds their clothes. They just peel off every stitch of clothing and fling it all over the room. Then you spend 20 minutes afterward looking for your left sock.
Monday, December 11, 2006