Saturday, September 27, 2008

The Debates, Bed Bug Disputes Filling Our Courts and Bed Bugs on Broadway

Did anyone see last night's Presidential debate? I wonder where the candidates stand on the bed bug infestation in the U.S.?

I came across this story in the New York Sun about how bed bug disputes between landlords and tenants are piling up in the city's courts. One example offered was of a tenant paying $7K a month for an apartment on the Upper East Side who signed a lease without knowing that several floors in the building were undergoing a massive extermination of bed bugs. Now the tenant wants out of the lease, arguing he wouldn't have signed it if he knew about the bed bug infestation.

What I'm wondering is, why the hell hasn't this impacted real estate values yet? I mean, everywhere else in the U.S. the mass foreclosure of homes is driving real estate values down, but in New York, people are still being charged $7,000 a month to live in a bed bug-infestation building! Many New Yorkers I know are leaving the city to live in states and buying foreclosed homes to live in because they can no longer afford to pay so much money in NYC for so little space, and no free parking to boot.

All I know is that the sky-high rents in New York City will not stay that way forever, and be bugs will definitely play a large role in the devaluing of property.

In other news, I guess I was on to something when I started writing my bed bug haikus.

I just found about this new musical called Bedbugs! Here's the ridiculous synopsis from their website.

"80s rock excess meets the Creature Feature. It’s 2012 and Carly, an exterminator hell-bent on avenging her mother’s freak death, has accidentally mutated NYC Bedbugs into bloodthirsty killer Hair Metal Rock Gods. Sweet sidekick Burt has a plan, and troubled Canadian chanteuse Dionne Salon has stumbled onto the scene. But will Carly listen to them and save NYC—or be seduced by her own creation?"

It doesn't exactly sound like something I'd pay to see, but apparently it has sold out in the past, so someone must like it. I seriously doubt that anyone in 2012 is listening hair metal rock. I'm glad it died in the 80s.

I wish someone would write a musical about living with bed bugs in New York City. No shortage of drama and conflict in that story!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

You must've been really tired or irate because there are mucho typos here. Anyways, the government and the candidates care more about bailing out Wall Street than any other thing. Nothing like money to get them shitting in their plush elected seats (seats, which by-the-way do not have bedbugs). See how fast they all came together.

Bedbugs are gonna be around a long, long time because of pesticides that have been banned that worked (I'm not only talking about DDT folks, I'm talking about the organophosophates (spelling?) and others that actually worked). The tree-huggers who got such things banned in the first place will not let those chemicals back again.

Unfortunately, because of them and the resulted banning of good pesticides that actually work, we will be getting more than bedbugs, my friends. There is a website which I came across which is worse than bedbugs. OMG, something worse?! Yes, it's called birdmites. These fu*kers go into your nose and mouth and ears and private parts and men get painful erections during the night from these. You blow blood out through your nose from these fu*kers. They come from birds nesting and then when the birds leave, they come to you. These fu*kers are also hard to eradicate and get into everything, etc.

So, we are in for some hard times to come, my fellow friends.